marriage and sharing responsibilties

Equilibrium in household duties is crucial in a romantic partnership. If one partner starts to feel the scales are unbalanced, it can show up negatively in other areas of the relationship. A marriage is a partnership, and a good partnership is about working together to achieve common goals. One common goal to every married couple is maintaining their responsibilities. In the past this was easily defined. Today's married life is much different from that of decades past. Within most households you'll find that not only are both people expected to work, but they both also need to help keep up with daily household responsibilities and child raising. Handling these responsibilities have unfortunately become the starting point for many disagreements for couples. It is in the best interest of both partners in the relationship to settle how the responsibilities will be shared. Approach the topic of sharing the responsibilities with these creative tips.

To start, you'll need to list every responsibility that needs to be handled. Your list should include everything from cleaning the toilets to taking your children to soccer practice. Be sure to include activities like helping your kids with homework or special school projects, family outings and date nights. Next to each item place how long each responsibility should take. Make it a point to over-estimate these times.

When you've compiled your list, sit down with your partner and go over which things each of you would like to be responsible for. Mark your names next to each responsibility. In our home, I make a weekly print out of the chores, and my husband and I go over it each week. By doing this every week we aren't stuck doing the same thing every week, and we can make allowances for when one of us unexpected responsibilities outside of the home.

If you have children, I would highly recommend making them a part of this process as well. Let them choose the things they would like to contribute to as well. Not only will this give you a few less things to do, but it will also increase your child's overall feelings of self-worth.

Another point to consider is when it's better to call for outside help. In some situations it may be better trade off to pay for a housekeeper, a gardener or even a nanny/babysitter to help out. The time you save can often be well worth the money you spend.

In every situation it is important not to criticize your partner for the way they do things. Each person comes from different traditions and backgrounds. The way you do things isn't the only way. If you criticize your partner you eventually make it so your partner will give up before even trying because they know they won't please you. Instead, make sure to highlight the things they do that you like. If you have to ask that they go about things a different way, approach them as you would a close friend.

Not everyone is going to get to every single thing that needs to be done. All that truly matters is that you are in communication with each other about the things you are doing. If you can't do something, let your partner know that, and the reasons for it before it was supposed to be done. Most squabbles over household duties are really about not being appreciated and feeling things are off-balance. If you can make the effort before something becomes a problem you will find a much happier home life.